I cleaned out the closet today and found a whole bag of stuff my mother had given me. It was full of school projects, report cards, teacher letters, etc.

I found a poem that supposedly I wrote in 4th grade. My mother insists I wrote it. I would have been ten, but I don't remember writing it. I have to wonder if some other cool kid wrote it and I just took the credit. Or maybe it was published somewhere and I just copied it?

Anyways, here it is: (If this sounds familiar let me know!)

Found and Lost
A wizard's hating pet.
Rather shortish.
Somewhat slimy.
May be hungry or angry.
Please feed nightly.
P.S. No Reward.

A dragon breathing spu(?)
Flails his slimy feet.
Would eat 100 small children nightly if we let him.
Please come get him.
P.S. Reward.

And then, when we were younger, my best friend Lacy and I used to send each other greeting cards all the time. We'd try to be the one who found the funniest. Lacy sent me this one:

"I quit jogging because it was bad for my health...(open card )
My thighs rubbed together so much, my underwear caught on fire."

That was us! We hated gym class. We hated running the mile. I should send her a greeting card tomorrow. I think she'd love it. We haven't done this in forever. I've already planned to send a card to her older sister. Both of their parents have passed and my parents "adopted" the girls years ago so they both come to our family Christmas party. The older sister, Crystal, doesn't like making plans so when Lacy asked her if she was coming she said, "I don't know." But she has to come! It's a tradition that we all buy each other gag gifts. Last year I bought two boxes of chocolates and took a bite out of every single one then rewrapped the boxes. And my gifts this year will be equally fun!

Anyway, I told Lacy I was going to send Crystal a ransom card using magazine clippings to write my message. 

At Walmart today I picked the card out. On the front it says, "Just a friendly hello!" And on the inside I'm going to paste a picture of Lacy with a note that says, "You better be at the Christmas party or your sister gets it!" Crystal has a twisted sense of humor. She'll love it. (I hope!)

Other Funny Thing: Mr. Jen went to Walmart today wearing two different boots!

I don't have anything good for Teaser Tuesday because I've been working on AA and nothing else.

I was going to post an excerpt from my old journals like westlund_lang has been, but I packed most of my journals up and the one I could find was quite tragically immature.

So instead, I'm going to post an excerpt from an old WIP that I wrote in ninth or tenth grade. It's about vampires. Everything I wrote back then was about vampires. I was obsessed.

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I could smell the body. It was in one of the VIP rooms and Shane was near it. I passed the dance floor, the DJ station and the bathrooms. The hallway to the VIP rooms was sanctioned off with only a curtain of beads. I walked through it, the beads clicking as they shut behind me.

"Hey, Ice," Shane said. (Seriously, Ice? Where did I get these names?)

"Hey."

Shane was bent over the body with a clothes pin on his nose. I wanted to ask him if it hurt, but there were more important questions to ask.

I shut down my vampire scent and bent over Shane.

Becky was unidentifiable by now. It didn't take long for vampires to decay. An hour. Two hours tops. Too bad they didn't really turn to ash like they did in the movies.